jesuskirkandvinny:

New York City.  Kirk’s Nephew Sebastian.

You’ll probably never find three guys that know less about babies than we do.  Exhibit One: we brought hand sanitizer as a baby gift!  It was Kirk’s idea but Jesus and I didn’t argue.  I’m pretty sure Kirk’s sister was insulted but she said thank you anyway.

Check out old Jesus.  While Kirk and I are watching the baby laugh and stuff everything he can into his mouth, Jesus is eyeballing Mom.  Look at him!  It’s like he’s never seen a woman before.  And he kept saying stuff like, “Hey the baby looks hungry…you should feed him.”  He even asked, “Got milk?”  TWICE.  It was embarrassing.

It was all too much for Kirk, who fell asleep faster than the baby.  Jesus left early because he was pissed that Mom “breast pumped” before we got there.  I’m telling you the guy has some serious Mother issues.

Hanging out with a baby is a lot like watching an infomercial: you start out convinced this thing is not for you, but you keep on watching.  You don’t need that, you think.  Hell, you already can do all the things it does.  Then something happens.  Somewhere, somehow, the pitch hooks into you.  Suddenly you’re thinking, how have I lived my life without that?  The next thing you know you’re in a Snuggie cleaning off a counter with your ShamWow and wondering how much a Chinese baby would run you.

The circle of life, man…it is weird.

love that Jesus is such a horn dog!!!